All Dogs Go To Heaven!

Zoie Girl! Anyone who has had a dog has seen a sneak peak of God's Love for us, it's that true unconditional love that mere humans find impossible. Zoie was a perfect example of that love. She brought so much happiness (and fur) into our lives. We rescued her when she was 3-4 years old, that was just a little over 10 years ago. Zoie was a sociable dog, she was happiest when there were new people to pet her. For some reason she thought humans were created to love on her. She especially loved kids for that reason, they would hug her and let her give kisses. Zoie entertained us with her talking, Ray loved to get her going and would ask "Zoie, who is the bad one of the family?" to which Zoie would "reply" MAAAMAAA. Ray thought it was hilarious. when my nephew Jacob spent a couple of weeks with us when he was 12 he worked and worked with Zoie to get her to talk. He succeeded and it was a proud moment when Jacob and Zoie performed for me. You knew where Zoie had been, her hair was proof! Good heavens that dog shed like crazy, year round! I kept a lint remover in my car and at work because if she walked within 5 feet of you, you would have hair all over you. She loved eggs and on Sunday morning when Ray would pull the egg tray out she would start pacing and in her younger days talking. She also loved to camp. She knew when we were getting the camper ready and she would go bezerk! And yes, she was constantly walking through my flowers! I have countless Zoie stories, she was smart, loveable and wanted to be with us all the time. You truly could not keep yourself from falling in love with Zoie if you met her. I know we all have memories of pets, funny stories that we love to tell. What a wonderful gift God gave us when He created dogs. Thank you God for allowing us to be Zoie's parents for 10 years. I will never forget her!

There Are Many Times I Wonder....

There are many times I wonder... Why do slowpokes insist on driving in the left (Fast) lane? How is it that On a huge windshield the big juicy bug splats right in your line of vision??? Someone please explain to me why you have to starve yourself for a month to lose 3 pounds, but eat a 3 oz bag of M & Ms and you gain 7 pounds? How is it That when you look your worst you run into that person from your past that you least want to see? The question running through my mind right now is, why can I think of countless things to write about UNTIL I sit at the computer to write them? Whether it is for a Toastmasters speech or an attempt to write a book. The above goes hand in hand with why is it when you commit to do something it seems you encounter hurdle after hurdle? As I sit here with a blank mind I am reminded that anything worth doing is rarely easy. If everything was easy what would be the prize? Hard work in school is rewarded with good grades, which can lead to money in the form of scholarships. Dedication at your job is rewarded with.... well, these days, just keeping your job! I think of the times God has urged me to do something and I actually heard Him and did it, the reward is an incredible feeling knowing I have made a difference in someone's life. So why is it that so many times I am deaf to the countless opportunities God whispers to me? Why don't I hear His "voice" all the time? Life is full of questions, most of our questions get answered in some way, but sometimes we don't get an answer, or at least not the answer we want. Sometimes we cry out to God to rescue us from some trial or tribulation in our life, and we are angry when He doesn't, we assume He doesn't care about us. Sometimes instead of rescuing us, He walks through the trail with us. Sometimes He just gives us the strength to keep breathing. Of all the questions we may have in this life there is one thing we can know, that if you earnestly seek God, you will find Him! When you find Him, He will never leave you. Period.

Lately I have really been missing the fellowship that you get with Church or Bible Study. On Monday last week, my birthday, I mentioned to God that I would like to find a Bible Study to attend. We are rarely home on weekends so don't have a Sunday church home. That night a friend of mine, sent me a message via Facebook saying that she'd just started a bible study that night and thought of me. She asked me if I would like to attend that bible study with her. I couldn't believe it! God answered my prayer sooo quickly! This past Monday I got ready to go to the bible study, it is a Beth Moore class so I knew I would enjoy it. I had a bit of trouble getting there! Got behind every slow-poke on the road, with me wanting to yell... "Get out of the way.. stupid slow-poke... I'm trying to get to Bible Study!" I had to laugh at myself, but that is why I don't have a fish on the back of my car. Then I went to the WRONG church! Then it was storming so badly with my wipers on high speed I still could barely see where I was going. I did eventually show up at the right church and was only 10 minutes late, they were just wrapping up the prayer so I didn't miss any of the actual Study. Since I knew the Study was on Deuteronomy I started reading the beginning of the book so as to not be too far behind. I read about Moses and how he didn't get to enter the Promise Land because of his disobedience. I prepared my mind and heart to hear Beth Moore talk about how our disobedience is the cause for our not being able to have all that God wants us to have. Instead, we learned 3 verses, all 3 containing the word "Love" and all 3 having different meanings in Hebrew. I was reminded that God loves me with a love that joins me to Him, it's emotional. I was reminded that God wrapped His love around me and pulled me out of the pits! He delights in me and His love is faithful, steadfast and He CAN'T QUIT LOVING ME! So there I was in Bible Study,crying, with NO KLEENEX! Next week I will be more prepared and come with plenty of tissue. We can't begin to fathom God's love! We judge God by our human standards, we say we can trust Him, but then expect Him to disappoint us like those here on earth we have loved and trusted only to be "kicked in the gut" by them. We listen to the hurtful words those that claimed to love us have said to us. Like, "you aren't worth fighting for". We can't understand God's unconditional Love, and that HE says I AM worth fighting for! How Grateful I am that God sees me as "worth it". I've sure tested Him in my life. Isn't it grand that God gives us His love freely? It's not something we can earn, like our salvation, it's a gift, a free gift to us, we only have to accept it!

SURPRISE!!! ???

This afternoon on the "prevening" (you know, that time between afternoon and evening) show one of the DJ's was confessing how her and her brother would carefully unwrap all their Christmas presents, then re-wrap them and place them back under the tree. That reminded me of the year my older sister, Renee and I accidentally found the stash of Christmas presents. Yes, we looked for them every year, but never expected to actually find them! Christmas is the most anticipated day of the year!!! As kids we would rush into the living room to see what treasures were left behind by Santa, we'd dump our stocking contents on the floor for more treasures. This particular year was different. There was nothing new, one by one the presents we found were revealed. This only confirmed our suspicion that Santa may not be real, another disappointment. By being sneaky we only ruined it for ourselves. I did my best to hide my UN-surprise, that was work. It wasn't even fun watching the two younger kids open their presents as they squealed with delight with each new unwrapped surprise. They were clearly having much more fun that Renee and I who opened our gifts with "ho-hum-ness" To this day if I am aware of a present nearby for me, I avoid that area! I learned that ruining your surprise only hurts yourself. Years later I wanted to surprise my husband (my ex) with a birthday party. I worked hard and made plans for a grand day to make him feel special. Unfortunately he found out and couldn't wait to tell me. He took a lot of pleasure in reminding me that I failed in keeping him from finding out about the party. I was so disappointed and learned that day that by ruining your surprise, you also ruin it for the person who has put in a lot of time and effort to do something nice. I never wanted to surprise him again. Why can't we just let things be? why can't we just enjoy the moment?

Oh goody, I will get what I want!

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." So, that's how you get a new car, or house, or boat???

I'd read that verse dozens of times. I didn't understand why I wasn't getting the desires of my heart!...ie, what I wanted... I thought I was delighting myself in the Lord, but once again felt like a failure, something else I couldn't get right. I was used to that, not getting things right, what was wrong with me? I even pointed out to God that the desires of my heart were honorable desires, I wanted a happy, strong marriage, I wanted to be able to afford things for my children. I wanted to feel valuable! I asked God how to properly "delight" myself in Him so I could have those things I wanted. I just didn't get it.

One day while driving in the car the radio station I was listening to had a verse of the day. This particular day it was Psalm 37:4."Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" Instantly It hit me like a ton of bricks.... when I delight myself in the Lord He will PUT the desires HE WANTS me to have, in my heart! When we are taking pleasure in our relationship with God, He reveals His plan for our lives. When we delight ourselves in Him we can "hear" Him better.

Maybe that desire is to sell your house and live in a Hotel and just wait, while others scratch their head and look at you like you've lost your mind. Sometimes that desire is to teach, sing, speak, mentor, build a church in South America..... What ever that desire is you can count on it being out of your comfort zone! God never (in my experiences) gives you a desire to do something you already excel at, that wouldn't require any trust or stepping out in faith. But I have also learned that as you DO step out in faith and trust God's direction, or the desire of your heart, you will be rewarded in ways you could never imagine! There is no high comparable to the high you get when you obey God's direction, when you allow Him to use you as He wants.

The Funny thing is, the more you allow God to use you, the more you trust Him, and the more you trust Him the more you WANT Him to use you.

Great Pacific Coast Adventure day 2 & 3.

Saturday, July 10.
Our first "official" day of vacation! We left the hotel in Sacramento at 6:30am and headed to Sonora, CA to catch a GWRRA (motorcycle club) Chapter meeting at 8:30am. Everyone was very friendly, had a great time. The ride there was very pretty, brown mountains and a few scattered trees.

We followed highway 49 which is part of the original trail the gold diggers took.
Stopped at Sutter's Mill which is where gold was accidentally found and is rumored to have started the Gold Rush. The scenery is so different from Georgia's lush green landscape.


Sunday, July 11.
Today we headed to Ft Bragg on the coast! Rode through winding roads that would put the "Tail of the Dragon" in North Carolina to shame! Stopped in Napa Valley to tour Sterling Winery. We took a gondola to the Winery, the views were beautiful! Tasted a little wine, bought a couple of bottles then back on the road. We stopped in Callisto for lunch at an old Train Depot. It warmed up a good bit so layers came off. After leaving lunch we got back on the road. As we hit the Coastal Mountains the temperature went down!!!! The higher we got the more the temperature went down!! I was freezing by the time we finished crossing the mountain range.

As we came out of the mountains I could almost immediately see the Pacific Ocean. It was a thrill I must admit. We walked about a mile to Ft Bragg Steak House to have dinner. It didn't look like much from the outside, but the food was wonderful! Then we walked back to the hotel, dropped off my purse and walked a half mile to the coastline to watch the sun set. We watched a seal playing, then saw more seals in the ocean riding the waves. what a great way to end the day.

Still not able to download pictures to blog. :(

The Pacific Coast Grand Adventure!

We began our adventure with an adventure! I’m used to flying stand-by, but for our vacation we BOUGHT tickets so we’d get to Sacramento with no delays. Well, after sitting on the runway off to the side for about 30 minutes, the Pilot comes on the PA and explains that there is a problem with the air pressure and something about a light not working. We wait another 15 minutes and once again the Pilot explains that the light can’t be fixed where we were, so we are returning to the gate where a mechanic will be checking on the plane. After sitting at the gate for about 10 minutes once again the pilot asks over the PA that everyone turn their air vent on and close the window screen to keep the plane as cool as possible. This isn’t sounding good right now…. Once again we hear the Pilot, this time he is explaining that the plane has been grounded and we will be disembarking, the search for a new plane is on. Finally about 11:30ish we are on the run-way, this time actually taking off. Only 3 hours later than originally expected. AND, with a bought tickets! Sigh…..

Up in the air, I began reading my book, (“Rooms” by James Rubart – great book) When we were flying over New Mexico and beyond I was watching out the window. How beautiful the world is! Even from 38,000 feet up. We could see canyons, (not the Grand canyon) buttes, rivers… the changing landscape was amazing. Pretty thrilling to the snow capped Sierra Mountains in the distance and watch them get closer and closer until we could see trees. Flying over lake Tahoe was just a taste of what we will see in a few more days as we drive around it on the bikes.

I was the typical tourist and took pictures from the plane! (I tried to upload pictures but not able to)

We finally arrived in Sacramento and headed to “In and Out” a burger joint. Very limited menu, good hamburgers. It’s a California “thing” we were told.

We head out early tomorrow, will head to Highway 49, part of the original trail of the Gold-diggers. It’s in the foothills so am looking forward to taking lots of pictures!

I Will Seek Wisdom

In the book, "The Traveler's Gift" by Andy Andrews, the second decision for success is, I will seek wisdom. Wisdom is a gift for the diligent. I can't be bought! The past can't be changed, but we DO have the ability to change our actions, which will change our future.

The people we choose to "hang out" with have an impact on our lives. My mom said more than once, "if you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas". If you surround yourself with positive, content people it's easier to be positive and content. Likewise, surrounding yourself with negative, unhappy people will guarantee your own unhappiness. If you think about it, many of our heartaches can be traced to relationships with the wrong people.

I've made some horrible mistakes in my life, but, I HAVE learned from them, and won't make them again. (I'll make new mistakes) I'm sure that is why wisdom is associated with age, because as you live life you learn. If I live to be 100, maybe I will have finally learned my lesson!

Those we associate with have a big impact on who we are or will become. Think about the people you have relationships with. Are you building them up? Are they building you up? Choose your friends wisely.

Batten Disease Awareness Weekend

June 3 - 5 is Batten Disease Awareness Weekend

What is Batten Disease? I'd never hear of it until I met Kim Fair.

Travis Jack was born beautiful and healthy. Kim & Dean Fair had the perfect family with two adorable, active little boys. When Travis was 3, Kim started noticing that he would occasionally stumble, concerned, they took him to the Doctor. That visit was the first of endless Doctor and Hospital visits. Travis was diagnosed with epilepsy and treated. But when things didn't get better, there were more and more tests. Two years went by before Travis was diagnosed with Late Infantile Batten Disease. For nearly 6 years Kim and Dean watched their precious son's health deteriorate until his life ended prematurely just before his 9th Birthday. He was wheel-chair bound, blind and fed via tube. But....he loved to snuggle and he could light up a room with his smile! No disease is good, but some are more cruel than others. After hearing Travis' story I went on line to read up on the disease I'd never heard of. Batten Disease is very cruel.

When Kim first told me about her son I felt like my heart was going to collapse. I can't even begin to fathom having to watch my child slowly die knowing there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Neither Kim or Dean knew they carried this gene!

I encourage you to go to the website below and read about it yourself, then help others become aware of this horrible disease! Kim told me she never wanted another child to suffer like her Travis and no parent to experience what her and Dean had to. Kim's request for her birthday in February was to make a donation to the Batten Disease Support and Research Association. I did, and will annually. BDSRA not only does research, but has an incredible support system including a medical equipment exchange. Batten is not well known, research needs to be done. I looked at their budget and very little goes to administration!

Again, I encourage you to visit the website www.bdsra.org and maybe even make a donation in memory of Travis Jack Fair.


BDSRA : Neurological Brain Disorder : Batten Disease Support and Research Association
www.bdsra.org

The Buck Stops Here!

I am currently reading a book by Andy Andrews, he has become one of my very favorite authors. His books are inspiring and really make you think. If you have never read one of his books I encourage you to pick one up and read it. Right now I am reading "The Traveler's Gift" Just reading the first section I was reminded of many things and wanted to comment on them. I decided to read a section each day (there are 7 lessons) then blog about what it means to me. I hope my ramblings on Andy's writing makes someone else think and more importantly encourages even just one person!

David Ponder is the main character in "The Traveler's Gift", he is experiencing devastation and is "traveling" to different historical people in time for some life lessons. His first lesson is "The Buck Stops Here" a quote made famous by Harry Truman. David's first response to his losing his job is, "Why me?". Isn't that response easy when we meet up with adversity? I myself have been very guilty of that response when things were not as I wanted them. There was a time when I was very angry with God and told Him so, and, I wanted to know WHY ME? Since then, I have also wondered, why me, but at the other end.... Why was I blessed with 4 beautiful, healthy children, who are productive, responsible adults? I know so many parents who have had to say good-bye to children, or who are heartbroken because of bad choices their children have made. Why was I given a safe, happy childhood? I know so many others who were sexually and/or physically abused by the very ones who should be protecting them. Why did God pick me to facilitate a healing bible-study for post-abortive women? There are so many other women who were much more educated and had better teaching skills. I could continue the list, I wonder why I have been so blessed. The funny thing is, all through the Bible, God used the misfits, the broken....the underdogs, to accomplish amazing things! He used people with brokenness who also wondered, why me?

We DO have control over our lives, yes there are things that happen to us that will knock us down, but we are totally in control of how we handle each situation in our life. Regardless of what has happened to us in the past we can't use it as an excuse for mistreating others. Our past should be used to comfort and encourage others, not be an excuse to tear others down.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

As parents we are supposed to teach our children. We do teach them colors, how to sing the alphabet song, how to count, to say please and thank you.... But, there is so much they teach us.

Ray and I were at Marc and Kristen's for Easter and got to watch our grandson Brady (who is 15 months old) hunting Easter eggs for the first time. Brady had us laughing out loud as he found one egg, picked it up, found another one, picked it up, but then... there was yet another egg on the ground. Brady put the egg in his hand right hand down, picked up the one on the ground, looked at the new egg in his hand but noticed the one still on the ground, he put the egg in his left hand down, picked up the one on the ground... looked at his hands and that elusive egg on the ground. You could see his mind working overtime trying to figure out how to get all 3 eggs in his hands. It was so adorable and I was fortunate enough to get it all on video! Without ever losing his temper, or getting discouraged he quickly decided to be satisfied with the current 2 eggs in his hand and walked away.

Brady reminded me that so many times in our life we want what we DON'T have and give up what we DO have to get it. Most of the time this only leaves us wanting what we gave up and we waste so much time trying to figure out a way to have what we really don't need. Why can't we be content with what we have? Contentment is a wonderful thing, we are happy when we are content. How much heartache could we save ourselves if we were grateful and not greedy. I'm not necessarily talking money, I'm talking about wanting what is not yours, and never being happy with what you DO have.... greed is everywhere. It destroys families, relationships, businesses and even governments. I remember my mom telling us over and over to "count your blessings" which means, be content, thank God for what he HAS given you instead of being angry at what He didn't.

I've said more than once that my children taught me so much. I look forward to more "lessons" from my grandchildren.

How the Other Half Live!

Ok, so now I know how the other half live. We decided last Christmas that instead of exchanging gifts, we'd go to the Biltmore in Ashville, NC for the weekend. We are staying at the Inn at Biltmore! WOW! And I do mean WOW! People falling all over you to help you. I felt out of place the minute I walked through the doors. lol We have a room with a balcony, amazing view. Color everywhere, so many flowers, trees and shrubs blooming. But not everything, you see lots of buds still waiting to burst with more color. I love the beach, but there is something so tranquil about the mountains. It is impossible to not find calmness in them. (well, at least for me)

In the evening, someone comes in to turn down your bed. They leave the chocolate and a single rose on the bed. Oh and of course there are robs for Ray and I as well as slippers!

We go to breakfast this morning, it's included in our package, and there is fine china and SILVERware including a fancy little coffee cup, not a mug! I wanted to take a picture to post on my blog, but Ray was too embarrassed... lol We sat looking out at the mountains while eating. We ate way too much, the buffet was huge, not to mention the fresh, custom made omelets. Not to worry though, I'm sure we walked 8 miles or more today! We had a light lunch and had reservations for dinner, but I canceled them. Too tired to eat a fancy, huge dinner.

I have to admit it's fun to be pampered sometimes. But I know I will be happy to return to the "real" world on Sunday. I was definitely not cut out to live the "upper crust" life. But for the next day and a half, I will relish living like the other half.

Yard Work

Those that know me, know how much I love yard work! Yes, I suffer for the next few days being sore, but to me it is so worth it. There is something so satisfying in seeing instant results from pulling weeds, planting bushes, trees and of course colorful flowers. Flowers just make people happy! They certainly make me happy. :)

I've thought many times while pulling weeds how much gardening is like our relationship with Christ. Before you can plant vegetables or any plants you must get rid of the weeds, or they will overtake your garden, be it vegetables or flowers. Just getting rid of the unsightly and messy weeds makes a marked improvement, but then when you plant flowers or vegetables oh how you are rewarded! Isn't that what Christ does for us? He helps to get rid of our "weeds" so He can "plant" wonderful things in us, the fruit of the spirit... Love, Joy, peace, Patience, Kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

For me, pulling weeds is therapeutic. When I am angry or frustrated, it helps calm me. I do some great thinking while pulling weeds, it's a slow pace and there is always that instant gratification. Now sometimes the weeds are over-whelming and it's hard to make myself start cleaning them out. (like the bed at the end of our pool, I have not touched it this year, too overwhelming, it would take me all day just to make a dent) I'm glad God didn't get overwhelmed with all the "weeds" I've had in my life. I'm grateful He thought I was worth the effort to clean them out and plant a "garden" in me.

I hope God's "gardening" in me has brought someone joy, encouragement or kindness.

Why Is It?

I have a full-sized SUV, a Sequoia. (I know it's a gas guzzler, but when we bought it in 2005 gas was $1.50) Anyway, I LOVE my Sequoia, it has a very large windshield, so... why is it that a bug hits right in my line of vision???? Can't it pick somewhere on that big windshield to hit? That goes right along with, why is it that your windshield wipers ALWAYS smear also, right in your line of vision! ???? you drive down the road in pouring rain trying to see around the long smear wondering why the rain hasn't cleared it up yet. Still on the driving subject, Why is it that with no car in sight in either direction, the pokey driver pulls our right in front of you, causing you to slam on your brakes and they putt down the road? They can't wait for one car to go by, quickly, noooo...they have to be in front and tempt your road rageness.

Why is it that you will see an object day after day... until you need it! Then it is nowhere to be found. That goes for looking for items in stores also.

why is it that it rains everyday until you plant hundreds of dollars of flowers, then doesn't rain for the next 2 months?

Why is it that you come up with all kinds of great ideas to blog about while you are driving down the road and can't write them down, but when you sit in front of the computer your mind goes blank.

Why is it?

It Just Keeps Coming Back!

When I was in Junior High it was a big deal each year when the Gideon’s came to our school and handed out New Testaments to the 9th graders. They don’t do that anymore, but in the early 70’s it was still allowed. Anyway, when I was in the 9th grade I got my bright orange New Testament skimmed through it and tucked it away.

In 1992 I was asked to give my testimony at a ladies retreat. I was scared to reveal that I wasn’t as perfect as others thought I was but I’d had too many “nudges” from God to not go through with it. As I was reading my Bible I came across Proverbs 3: 5 & 6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path” (this is from memory so may not be perfectly in sync with the actual Bible verse) This verse spoke to me, it reminded me that as long as I was letting God direct my path I wouldn’t have regrets. (too bad I didn’t take that verse to heart earlier in my life, I’d have saved myself a good bit of grief)

Shortly after giving that first testimony I was going through some boxes, just guess what I came across …. My bright orange New Testament from the 9th grade. I flipped through it remembering how important I felt when I got it, being a 9th grader and all. I stopped when I noticed ONE verse was underlined, AND it was underlined in red. Guess what verse it was… yes, Proverbs 3: 5 & 6. WOW! Twenty years earlier as a kid, that verse spoke to me.

A few years ago my sister Laurie sent me a travel mug for my birthday, it had that same verse on it! I had to call her right away and tell her that story. That verse has come to mind yet again recently. There are so many things in this world I just don't understand. Why some people suffer and some don't, why some seem to have the strength to make healthy, good choices and others seem to make bad decision after bad decision. Why do some people hear God speak so clearly and others can't hear a word? My list of questions is so long...So many things I just don't know or understand.

Something I DO know is that if I trust in the Lord with all my heart and don't try to figure out why to everything, and if I let God know I know He's there and really listen for Him, (not for what I want Him to say or do), then I can trust that there won't be regrets. Then I can trust He will not lead me in the wrong direction.

I would say that Proverbs 3: 5 & 6 is my life verse.

Have You Ever?

Have you ever watched an amazing sunrise or sunset and because of the overwhelming beauty you could almost hear God whispering "this is for you"? What about standing at the top of a mountain in the springtime surrounded by Rhododendrons, wild Azaleas and Mountain laurels in full bloom, could you imagine you were in a Thomas Kincaid painting? Did you wonder how anyone could not KNOW God IS there? Driving down a mountain road in the middle of fall with splashes of yellow, orange and red, everywhere you look, did you marvel at the splendor? Have you ever thought about what fun God must have had creating? And what a sense of humor He had at the odd animals?

Have you ever been privileged to watch a baby being born? The excitement so intense that you can hardly breath as you are in awe of the miracle? Nothing can compare!

Ever heard of "God Winks"? Those little day to day miracles that God sends our way to encourage us? To remind us that He cares about the little things? He knows we are hurting and while He won't necessarily deliver us from heartache He WILL walk through the heartache and pain with us. How? Maybe He sends a beautiful scene, sunset or sunrise to envelope you in tranquility. Can you accept that the person who calls you out of the blue was urged by God to encourage you? Sometimes someone wakes up in the middle of the night with you heavy on their heart, they get on their knees and lift you up in prayer, because you don't have the strength to go on one more hour. Or a song comes on the radio that ministers directly to your heart, one that seems as though it was written just for you.

All of these situations I have experienced. I have cried at the wonder of God's creation. I have heard God speaking to me gently, encouraging me to go one more step. I have been awakened in the middle of the night to lift someone up in prayer. Sometimes God speaks softly and quietly, sometimes He uses a 2 x 4 to get our attention. (that's how it usually works for me... I'm a little stubborn!)

The point is that if we listen, look and expect God, we will hear/find Him. Maybe not in the way we think He should communicate, but in a way He knows we will respond, IF we let ourselves.

Have you ever allowed God to speak to you, His way?

Here's the rest of the story!

Since June 2009… As Paul Harvey says… Here’s the rest of the story!

I’ve written before about what a difference a day can make. Well, what a difference a year can make also. June of 2009 I did a Toastmasters’ speech on the heartbreak my daughter was suffering because of infertility. While she felt led to write a daily devotional book geared towards infertile women, her heartbreak was immense. I myself could barely give the speech without sobbing knowing how my daughter suffered so and knowing there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

In February of 2010 we learned my mom’s cancer had returned with a vengeance. As my sister, Laurie and I left the hospital after another surgery, we knew our mom would not see the end of 2010. It was so sad, I shared with Laurie that I just wished God would let mom live long enough to KNOW that Meghan was pregnant! She’d been praying for Meghan for four years and I wanted her to know that God had answered our prayers the way we wanted Him to! I left St Petersburg, Florida and after stopping home for one night to say hi to Ray, flew to St Louis to take Meghan to the Dr’s for an infertility procedure, since Charles would be out of town and she couldn’t drive herself. Little did I know that Meghan and Charles had been scheming to get Ray and I up there, (Ray didn’t cooperate) to tell us that FINALLY they were pregnant! (It’s all on video)

My mom not only got to know Meghan was pregnant; she got to see Meghan while she was pregnant. I was hoping that she would hold on until the little one arrived, but she went to glory in August of 2010 and our Little Miss Madelyn Grace arrived October 23, 2010! I know my mom was dancing with the angels at 8:55am that wonderful day!

October 2009 God Laid Lost Stork Foundation on Meghan and Charles’ hearts. Meghan and I felt that a cook book would be a great way to start. We hoped for 150 recipes and got 263! We took this as confirmation that that’s what God wanted. We came across an incredible webmaster who created an amazing webpage for us at a very reasonable price. We were thrilled with how things seemed to be falling into place. Mostly, we were looking forward to awarding grants to couples this spring.

But…. The cookbooks aren’t selling like we expected we still don’t have an official grant application, (that requires a lawyer) and Meghan has had to turn away nearly 10 couples in the past 2 weeks for lack of funds.


SO, how do you KNOW it’s God’s will? I’m 100% positive it IS God’s will for Lost Stork to be. I am positive He’s using Meghan’s sorrow to bring unspeakable joy to other couples by being a part of the “fix” of infertility.

Touched? How can you help? PRAY!!! We’ve watched miracle after miracle happen, but we want more miracles. Buy a cookbook! Get the word out, this year we plan on having at least one big fund-raiser. If you’ve ever done fund-raising you know what an over whelming task it can be! We’re thinking of a Bowl-a-thon so the whole family can participate and weather won’t be a consideration. Want to help? You can leave a comment for me, or you can go to http://loststorkfoundation.org/ and leave a comment there.

The main goal of Lost Stork is to help infertile couples realize their dream of having their own little miracle!

You've Got Something To Say - Toastmasters Speech June 2009

I was looking back at my first 10 speeches for Toastmasters when I came across this one. Tomorrow I will add an update with the connection to Lost Stork Foundation.

I was listening to one of my CD’s by Matthew West and while I’ve heard this particular song many times, one day it took on a new meaning. The chorus says this:
You’ve got something to say
If you’re living, if you’re breathing
You’ve got something to say
You know if you’re heart is beating
You’ve got something to say
And no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through
You got it, you got it
You’ve got something to say

Matthew West is right, each of us have experiences worth telling, a testimony. I love hearing testimonies; they are stories about endurance, strength, faith, miracles…. testimonies are stories of victory and they give us hope. Sometimes what you have endured will comfort someone, it may give strength, renew someone’s faith, sometimes, what you say can save a life.

I’ve always loved children and wanted several. Meghan is very much my daughter and also loves children. When she was 19 months old her first baby brother was born. Never did I have a problem with jealousy; Meghan thought Ryan was her own personal live doll! She would pitch a fit if I was sitting holding him and she wasn’t. She went around nursing her baby doll just like mommy did. When her second baby brother came along Meghan was 3 ½, she was excited to have another baby to play with. Meghan loved babies.

When Meghan was 9 years old she hired out as a mommy’s helper. She would play with the babies or toddlers while mommy worked around the house. By the time she was 13, Meghan was an in demand babysitter. Rarely did a weekend go by that she was not babysitting someone’s children. Our church even made an exception to their rule and at 13 let Meghan watch the baby nursery with me on Sunday mornings. She didn’t limit herself to the quiet babies, Meghan changed diapers, soothed fussy babies and fed them just like the adults. In High School, she was in the Teacher’s Cadet Program where she “had class” 5 days a week in a Kindergarten class as an assistant. The children fell in love with her immediately and she could reach the most difficult child. When her friends started having babies, Meghan is the one they would call for advice, anyone who knows Meghan knows she has a knack with children of all ages.

After graduating High School Meghan worked at a daycare center while going to college to get her Sociology degree with the goal of having her own adoption agency one day. Meghan became a nanny and is now caring for twin 6 month old boys. My daughter hasn’t had any luck in getting pregnant and is going to an infertility specialist. It just doesn't seem right that someone so in love with children would not be blessed with children of her own.

Meghan doesn’t like baby showers. It breaks her heart to buy someone else a gift for what she wants so desperately. When another of her friends excitedly calls with the wonderful news that they are pregnant, Meghan rejoices with them, then later, mourns for herself. Don’t dare tell her to relax!!! “How can I just relax”, she asks me, “when I walk by adorable baby clothes or other baby items but can’t buy any for myself?” “How am I supposed to relax when octo-mom has another 8 babies she can’t afford and I can’t even have one?”

Here’s where the testimony part comes into play. You see, while Meghan may not have a baby of her own right now what she does have is an incredible opportunity to minister to thousands and thousands of women! Meghan leads an infertility support group in St Louis, she’s writing a daily devotional book geared toward infertile women and Meghan blogs. Now I only learned what blogging was last year when she explained it to me. Just in case someone here doesn’t know; blogging is, well, a public diary, for the whole world to read!

And I do mean the whole world since Meghan not only has followers all over the United States, but in 41 additional countries including Australia and Iceland. Meghan blogs about what infertility means, how it affects her everyday life, the frustrations of hearing one more person tell her to just adopt or quit worrying about it. She shared what it was like to give herself shots in the stomach everyday for two weeks and about the raging hormones she endured from “booster shots” from the Doctor to help ovulation; then Meghan shares her heartbreak when yet, another attempt at getting pregnant is unsuccessful.

Meghan’s got something to say. Meghan’s Blog is a place where other infertile women network to find information about new advances, procedures, medications and options for infertility, including adoption. More importantly, Meghan’s Blog has become Meghan’s testimony. She offers her perspective and gives encouragement to other infertile women. By sharing her testimony, she is assuring these women that they are not alone in this journey. The testimony from her heart proves to these women that she fully understands the heartache they are suffering. What Meghan has endured has given her the strength to comfort others and then in turn gives others the strength to go one more round of procedures or tests. Meghan’s powerful faith can renew someone else’s faith.

God is love and love is speaking through Meghan.

NOW I KNOW

Wisdom is always equated with age…. Have you ever wondered why? It’s because as we go through life all the things we didn’t know before, we now know!

I was 17 and my boyfriend wanted me to meet his parents. We were meeting them at church on Easter Sunday then having lunch at their house. They lived in the nicer section of downtown and attended the First Presbyterian Church… the First of anything church, Methodist; Baptist… it doesn’t matter, that’s where the hoity toities go… They were good Presbyterians so sat near the back. Since I’m A.D.D. the back is never a good place for me… too much to look at. It just so happened that the woman two rows up from me directly in my line of vision of the preacher was wearing a hubcap on her head…. Well, that’s what it looked like to me. It was sleek and shiny gray. I’d been going to church all my life, so I knew it wasn’t polite to laugh while there was preaching going on, but the harder I tried NOT to, I did. My boyfriend’s mom shot daggers at me with her looks.. I finally excused myself and went outside, my boyfriend right at my heels. When he asked me what was wrong, I tried to explain about the woman with a hubcap on her head but my hysterical laughter made it difficult. He just blankly stared at me, saying he didn’t see anyone with a hubcap hat. His parents never did like me…

Now I know, the more you shouldn’t laugh at something; the harder it is NOT to.

One day I told my 3 year old son Ryan to get dressed because we were going to run errands with daddy. I was trying to get his little brother ready when Ryan came to me in a panic and crying. “Mommy, I can’t find my green baboon shirt.” What shirt I asked? “My green baboon shirt mommy, I have to have it to run errands”. I tried to give him another shirt to wear, but he was determined that it HAD to be the green baboon shirt. I had no idea what he was talking about; he didn’t have any shirts with a baboon or any kind of monkey on it. Still crying he went in our bedroom and came back with his daddy’s running shirt and shorts, which were green. That shed some light on what he might be talking about. Sure enough when I got his green tank top out of the dryer he was happy. When we got to the car he wanted to know why we were getting in the car to RUN. Finally, I understood why he thought he needed the Baboon shirt to RUN errands. I never did figure out why it was a baboon shirt.

Now I know… 3 years old have their own language.

As I mentioned earlier, I have Attention Deficit Disorder. My husband Ray does his best to play on that weakness at any given opportunity. He constantly tries to make me think I’ve forgotten to tell him things, or misplaced items. One day we were in the mountains on the motorcycle with some friends. We stopped at a biker joint to wait out a thunderstorm. While Ray dried the bike off and cleaned it up, I suited up. I was ready to go, but couldn’t find my helmet. I asked Ray where it was, he just stared at me. I asked him again, what did you do with my helmet? He patted his head and said, you can’t find your helmet? NO, What did you do with it? He called out to our friends, Lynn can’t find her helmet, I’m getting more irritated by the minute, everyone was ready to go including me, except for my helmet. I couldn’t believe he got Greg and Mickey involved in his little game. One last time I snapped, where is my helmet??? Once again Ray patted his head and said you still can’t find your helmet? Oh oh…. I gingerly reached my hand up and yep… right on my head was my helmet. Never mind I found it.

Now I know… Ray isn’t ALWAYS the one who hides my stuff sometimes I really lose it on my own.

Wisdom does come with a cost!

Speech: Broken for Purpose

This speech got me 2nd place at my first Toastmasters competetion:
Broken for Purpose

Divorce, unemployment, death, drug and alcohol dependency, abuse, betrayal, bad decisions, natural disasters… every day lives are broken.

I bet every single person in this room has had their life broken at least once. Did you feel like damaged goods? Did you want to kow WHY?

Fellow Toastmasters and Guests, I assert that the brokenness in our lives not only serves to give us strength to face new challenges with courage and optimism, But it also gives us credibility when comforting and encouraging others.

I’ve always considered myself a happy person. I used to wonder why people wouldn’t just “snap” out of it when they were depressed. My faith in God was solid as a rock, it baffled me that anyone could doubt the creator of the universe. THEN… my life was broken, now I know you are curious as to how, but this isn’t the time or place, I will spare you the details, besides the details are irrelevant since each of us has our own distinct broken stories. What is relevant is that I became fully aware of what deep depression was and that you can't just "snap" out of it I also understood how someone could doubt God and even question one’s faith. I was convinced that God didn’t care what I was going through and it was apparent to me that He didn’t love me. I was very angry with Him and told Him so… more than once!

It was during the turbulent time in my life that I happened to attend an inspirational conference, while listening to one of the speakers give his moving testimony a vivid image came to my mind. There was an old plain white water pitcher, you could tell it had been well used, it had several cracks in it and there was even a chip in it's rounded belly that left a tiny hole; the pitcher was sitting on an old table in front of a window. The window had sheer curtains pushed to either side and you could see the sun shining outside. The sunlight came in through the window filling the pitcher; what grabbed my attention, was that you could see the light through the cracks and light even spilled out of the tiny hole onto the floor. The message was instantly clear to me. It’s those cracks and chips in our lives that allow God’s love to be seen through us that would otherwise be hidden. The cracks and chip or the brokenness offer proof that God's light has indeed filled our "pitchers".

Shortly after that conference I came across this painting.

While it didn’t have a pitcher in it, the essence of the painting made me think of what I saw! What I really wanted though, was a painting of what I did see, with a pitcher. Six years later I came across an artist, Brad McLean, who said he could paint the image I described to him. At one point while working on the painting Brad confessed to me that he was worried he wouldn’t capture what I wanted, I assured him I had complete peace in my heart that God was showing him exactly what to paint.

A few months later he presented me with this painting.

I was immediately amazed at its splendor, but it was not what I saw. I would stare at the painting, completely mesmerized by the vibrant color and it's beauty. I knew this was the painting God intended for me, but it wasn’t until my good friend Lia saw it that I understood why. You see, when I saw the image in my mind I was in the throws of depression and doubt, seeing the light through the “broken parts of the pitcher” was hope and encouragement shining through in an otherwise gloomy emotional landscape. This new painting, Lia explained, represented me now, healed, and full of life! and the brokenness had become part of the beauty.

These pictures hang on either side of my bed. They serve as a constant reminder of how God encouraged me in a very dark time in my life and how richly He has blessed me since. It is also a reminder to allow the brokenness in my life to minister to others. When we are broken, it’s not because we are being punished, When we’re broken, it’s not because God doesn’t love us or care about us. The Brokenness in our lives serves a purpose.