Usually my daughter has the "different" dreams, but I had one this morning that tops my list of odd dreams. I'm not sure what to think of it.
I was in bed, lying flat. All of the sudden I had a feeling come over me that I can't explain, it was like electricity in my body and I could see an intense bright spot very far away, I started moving closer to the bright spot and I wondered if Ray could see the look on my face. I tried to raise my hands, but they wouldn't move, I was anticipating being overtaken by the brightness... I thought that must be heaven and this is what it feels like to die and go to heaven. As quickly as the feeling came over me, it left, no bright spot anymore. I woke up. WOW! What do you think of a dream like that? Is God trying to tell me something? reassure me about what happened when my mom died? When Ray woke up I said I had to tell him about the dream I just had, he said I know, I heard you. I asked him what did I say? He said I was moaning. So, what DO you think of a dream like that? I'm sure I won't forget it ever.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Why is it?
Why is it when you commit to something it seems all hell breaks loose giving you hurdles to jump constantly?
I committed, to myself, to lose weight, knowing I need to because of my diabetes so for health reasons which are important. I had lost 12 pounds... took 3 months to do so. Now I find myself just 2 pounds away from where I started. Now, I can blame some of it on my mom's death and the stress eating I did while in Florida for weeks. But one can only blame their circumstances for so long. Sooner or later we have to "buckle up" and accept responsibility in spite of our circumstances. Why is it so difficult to establish a good habit and with the snap of a finger fall into a bad habit? In two weeks I go back to my Dr, I am dreading that. Last time I went she was singing my praises, I'd lost weight, my A1C was more than a point lower, she was proud of me. Well, I was proud of myself! I won't be hearing those praises this next visit. sigh....
For almost a year I felt a tugging at my heart to volunteer with wellspring, which is like a rehab program for victims of human trafficking. Finally, I felt like I could commit to volunteering in some capacity with these girls. As soon as I got a girl to mentor it seems like there were hurdles everywhere! one after another, some hurdles being the situation with my mom, but added to that is the house mother I have tried to deal with. It has been frustrating and I worry that my girl thinks I don't care.
I guess the trick is to keep going regardless. Without hurdles, which we have throughout our life, there would be nothing to encourage us. It's when we over come those hurdles that gives us strength. Toby Mac has a song, "Get Back Up Again", There are some important words to remind not to quit,
"We lose our way,we get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again
And one day you are gonna’ shine again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever"
So we fall off the wagon, chase the wagon down and get back on, you may get battered and beaten a little trying to jump back ON a moving wagon, but the ride is worth it.
All of this rambling reminds me not to give up on dreams, no dream is realized by being still. I believe with all my heart one day when someone mentions Lost Stork foundation, people will know what you're talking about. What IS lost stork you ask? Google it, it's a "hurdle" that became a ministry.
I committed, to myself, to lose weight, knowing I need to because of my diabetes so for health reasons which are important. I had lost 12 pounds... took 3 months to do so. Now I find myself just 2 pounds away from where I started. Now, I can blame some of it on my mom's death and the stress eating I did while in Florida for weeks. But one can only blame their circumstances for so long. Sooner or later we have to "buckle up" and accept responsibility in spite of our circumstances. Why is it so difficult to establish a good habit and with the snap of a finger fall into a bad habit? In two weeks I go back to my Dr, I am dreading that. Last time I went she was singing my praises, I'd lost weight, my A1C was more than a point lower, she was proud of me. Well, I was proud of myself! I won't be hearing those praises this next visit. sigh....
For almost a year I felt a tugging at my heart to volunteer with wellspring, which is like a rehab program for victims of human trafficking. Finally, I felt like I could commit to volunteering in some capacity with these girls. As soon as I got a girl to mentor it seems like there were hurdles everywhere! one after another, some hurdles being the situation with my mom, but added to that is the house mother I have tried to deal with. It has been frustrating and I worry that my girl thinks I don't care.
I guess the trick is to keep going regardless. Without hurdles, which we have throughout our life, there would be nothing to encourage us. It's when we over come those hurdles that gives us strength. Toby Mac has a song, "Get Back Up Again", There are some important words to remind not to quit,
"We lose our way,we get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again
And one day you are gonna’ shine again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever"
So we fall off the wagon, chase the wagon down and get back on, you may get battered and beaten a little trying to jump back ON a moving wagon, but the ride is worth it.
All of this rambling reminds me not to give up on dreams, no dream is realized by being still. I believe with all my heart one day when someone mentions Lost Stork foundation, people will know what you're talking about. What IS lost stork you ask? Google it, it's a "hurdle" that became a ministry.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Madelyn Grace
I will never forget October 23, 2010, That is the day Madelyn Grace arrived! It has been so long since I held one of my precious babies for the first time that I almost had forgotten that un-explainable joy that comes with meeting your baby. It's amazing how such a tiny thing can cause a joy that is more huge than the sky! I had the privilege of being with Meghan and Charles as Madddie made her appearance. It was very difficult to watch Meghan in such pain. I even had to leave the room a couple of times to cry. When it came time to FINALLY push, I had the video camera in one hand and my cell phone to take pictures with, in the other, I was shaking and bawling like a baby. Fortunately I didn't do too badly on the videoing. There is a time where you see Charles sideways instead of focusing on Madelyn, but I did get the important stuff. She looks so much like Meghan did at birth, dainty, with super long fingers and toes. You can see Charles in her too, a perfect combination of love. She has the hiccups alot, just like her Uncle Daniel did. I'm so thankful God allowed me to get to St Louis in time to be there.
It's funny how your whole life can change in an instant!
It's funny how your whole life can change in an instant!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
How diffent today can be.
It's funny how your life can dramatically change in one day! In one day you become a wife,in one day you become a mother, in one day you can become a millionaire (not likely, but it can happen if you win the lottery)Your life is dramatically changed forever in a wonderful way. In one day you can change the life of one child or person by being kind to them. You never know what small act of kindness may change someone's life, then in turn others lives. In one day your life can also become devastating. You lose a child, job, spouse through divorce or death. Your home burns down, or is robbed. You are violated.
I thought of how quickly our lives can change, for good or bad, today when talking to a friend about my daughter Meghan and a speech I did for Toastmasters just over a year ago. My speech was on Meghan's infertility and the heartache she was enduring because of it. I also talked about the opportunity she had to make a difference in other women's lives, Meghan was leading support groups and blogging. (this is how I was introduced to blogging)
I thought about THE DAY when Meghan was "officially" considered infertile. In just one day her whole life changed, her dreams of being a mommy where abruptly taken from her... Four years later her life dramatically changed once again with a little stick she pee'd on, it said "pregnant". Now, a year after that speech, Meghan's life has dramatically changed, she's waiting for baby to arrive any day now and she's the founder of Lost Stork Foundation. Lost Stork will eventually be able to help relieve some financial burden for infertile couples. Infertility treatments are expensive and not covered by most insurances. Lost Stork wants to dramatically change infertile couples lives so they can know the joy Meghan and her husband Charles are feeling now. Maybe one day we'll read how Lost Stork dramatically changed a couple's lives when they too read "pregnant" on a stick.
I thought of how quickly our lives can change, for good or bad, today when talking to a friend about my daughter Meghan and a speech I did for Toastmasters just over a year ago. My speech was on Meghan's infertility and the heartache she was enduring because of it. I also talked about the opportunity she had to make a difference in other women's lives, Meghan was leading support groups and blogging. (this is how I was introduced to blogging)
I thought about THE DAY when Meghan was "officially" considered infertile. In just one day her whole life changed, her dreams of being a mommy where abruptly taken from her... Four years later her life dramatically changed once again with a little stick she pee'd on, it said "pregnant". Now, a year after that speech, Meghan's life has dramatically changed, she's waiting for baby to arrive any day now and she's the founder of Lost Stork Foundation. Lost Stork will eventually be able to help relieve some financial burden for infertile couples. Infertility treatments are expensive and not covered by most insurances. Lost Stork wants to dramatically change infertile couples lives so they can know the joy Meghan and her husband Charles are feeling now. Maybe one day we'll read how Lost Stork dramatically changed a couple's lives when they too read "pregnant" on a stick.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Just Do It
I'm following Nike's advice and just doing it!
My strongest spiritual gifts are mercy and encouragement. Many years ago, before the Chicken Soup book rage began, I thought how I would love to write a book with short stories of encouragement. Apparently I had a great idea! The truth is I hate to write, especially long hand!!! And I don't have the prettiest handwriting either, I blame that on being left handed. But for many years now the desire in my heart remains to encourage others. While in comparison to some others' lives, mine has been pretty easy. I do completely understand what it feels like to question God and experience deep depression. Most of my heartache has been from bad decisions I've made, but not always. How wonderful it is that God can and will use our stupidity for great things! So, while I know there's no one following my blog, except my loyal daughter Meghan, I am going to just do it! I'm going to blog as close to every day as I can and start putting in hard copy all those thoughts racing around in my head and heart. Maybe one day down the road I can take the thoughts/lessons I've blogged about and arrange them into a book.
Last week I read a book called "Finding Grace" by Donna VanLiere. If you see it in the bookstore I highly recommend it! It spoke to me many times. It's all about finding God's grace in unexpected ways. I could share HOW the book spoke to me, (over and over) but I would have to share half of the book with you and I don't want to type that much! Plus, God might not show you what He showed me. One quote she used I will share, "It is invariably true, that God conceals Himself from those who tempt Him, and manifests Himself to those who seek Him." Blaise Pascal, French Scientist, Philosopher and Mathematician. This is always my answer to someone who wants to argue about God... If you TRULY seek God you WIll find Him. Even when I was angry at God, my heart wanted to understand, therefore God did speak to me in many ways. When I was a little girl my mother always told me to never question God, but it's my nature and I feel safe questioning God, it shows I know He loves me, unconditionally. There is also a difference between questioning God and condemning/cursing Him.
Now that I've hit the ripe ole age of 53, I understand the saying "older and wiser" we certainly get wiser as we get older because of all the mistakes and life experiences we have year after year. I hope somewhere down the line something I've written speaks to someone, encourages, gives strength to keep on keeping on or sometimes just entertains. If so, then I'll be grateful I "just did it".
My strongest spiritual gifts are mercy and encouragement. Many years ago, before the Chicken Soup book rage began, I thought how I would love to write a book with short stories of encouragement. Apparently I had a great idea! The truth is I hate to write, especially long hand!!! And I don't have the prettiest handwriting either, I blame that on being left handed. But for many years now the desire in my heart remains to encourage others. While in comparison to some others' lives, mine has been pretty easy. I do completely understand what it feels like to question God and experience deep depression. Most of my heartache has been from bad decisions I've made, but not always. How wonderful it is that God can and will use our stupidity for great things! So, while I know there's no one following my blog, except my loyal daughter Meghan, I am going to just do it! I'm going to blog as close to every day as I can and start putting in hard copy all those thoughts racing around in my head and heart. Maybe one day down the road I can take the thoughts/lessons I've blogged about and arrange them into a book.
Last week I read a book called "Finding Grace" by Donna VanLiere. If you see it in the bookstore I highly recommend it! It spoke to me many times. It's all about finding God's grace in unexpected ways. I could share HOW the book spoke to me, (over and over) but I would have to share half of the book with you and I don't want to type that much! Plus, God might not show you what He showed me. One quote she used I will share, "It is invariably true, that God conceals Himself from those who tempt Him, and manifests Himself to those who seek Him." Blaise Pascal, French Scientist, Philosopher and Mathematician. This is always my answer to someone who wants to argue about God... If you TRULY seek God you WIll find Him. Even when I was angry at God, my heart wanted to understand, therefore God did speak to me in many ways. When I was a little girl my mother always told me to never question God, but it's my nature and I feel safe questioning God, it shows I know He loves me, unconditionally. There is also a difference between questioning God and condemning/cursing Him.
Now that I've hit the ripe ole age of 53, I understand the saying "older and wiser" we certainly get wiser as we get older because of all the mistakes and life experiences we have year after year. I hope somewhere down the line something I've written speaks to someone, encourages, gives strength to keep on keeping on or sometimes just entertains. If so, then I'll be grateful I "just did it".
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Tuesday - Saturday
We arrived in Des Moines, Iowa around lunchtime. Our hotel is downtown and within walking distance of the Gold Wing Rally. We all agreed we would NOT get on the bike to go anywhere today or tomorrow!!!! Have you ever noticed that the more expensive a hotel is the less they give you? No free breakfast and high speed internet is $15.00 A DAY!!!!! You have to be kidding me! For what we are paying for our room you think the internet would be included!!!!! Good Grief! so... that is why there was no blogging updating for several days.
Every morning Ray and I walked to a local restaurant, Mr Fillet's for breakfast, Father and son owners and running the place, great food, great prices. It was such fun to get to visit with them each morning. We found out Thursday morning that this past January 11, Mr Fillet's burned down. Because of all the regulars there was such concern that it only took 2 months to rebuild! Amazing huh? Their regular customers pitched in and helped rebuild. That's the difference between a "mom and pop" restaurant instead of a big chain restaurant.
Thursday we rode to Pella, Iowa, yep, that's where they make the windows. It's a lovely dutch town with the largest working Windmill in the U.S. The windmill was built in Holland and shipped to Pella in sections. We took a tour! Pretty darn cool! We had lunch at the Windmill Cafe of course, great food. And then we went to the Bakery.... yummy!!!!!!!
I test drove a Can Am it's an odd looking cycle with two wheels in the front and one in the back. Like a reverse trike. It was fun to drive. We spent lots of time roaming through the vendors, and did our fair share in supporting several vendors! We've eaten way too much and I am scared to get on the scale when I get home. It was hard work getting 11 pounds off I just hope I don't gain most of them back. :(
We met several folks from New Zealand! That's one of the places Ray and I would love to go and tour. The group told us if we ever make it over there to let them know beforehand and they would tour with us. They also told us to buy a Gold Wing, ship it over there, use it for the touring then sell it. So, we are seriously looking into doing just that. It would save us the daily rental of a Gold Wing and selling it would recoup the cost of shipping it over. So, actually an affordable trip. We're shooting for 2012.
Unfortunately I didn't take daily notes so I can't remember everything I want to, it's very late and I'm exhausted. We are in Cedar Falls, Iowa. Tomorrow we'll be in Minnesota. I'm as caught up as I'm going to be for now.
Every morning Ray and I walked to a local restaurant, Mr Fillet's for breakfast, Father and son owners and running the place, great food, great prices. It was such fun to get to visit with them each morning. We found out Thursday morning that this past January 11, Mr Fillet's burned down. Because of all the regulars there was such concern that it only took 2 months to rebuild! Amazing huh? Their regular customers pitched in and helped rebuild. That's the difference between a "mom and pop" restaurant instead of a big chain restaurant.
Thursday we rode to Pella, Iowa, yep, that's where they make the windows. It's a lovely dutch town with the largest working Windmill in the U.S. The windmill was built in Holland and shipped to Pella in sections. We took a tour! Pretty darn cool! We had lunch at the Windmill Cafe of course, great food. And then we went to the Bakery.... yummy!!!!!!!
I test drove a Can Am it's an odd looking cycle with two wheels in the front and one in the back. Like a reverse trike. It was fun to drive. We spent lots of time roaming through the vendors, and did our fair share in supporting several vendors! We've eaten way too much and I am scared to get on the scale when I get home. It was hard work getting 11 pounds off I just hope I don't gain most of them back. :(
We met several folks from New Zealand! That's one of the places Ray and I would love to go and tour. The group told us if we ever make it over there to let them know beforehand and they would tour with us. They also told us to buy a Gold Wing, ship it over there, use it for the touring then sell it. So, we are seriously looking into doing just that. It would save us the daily rental of a Gold Wing and selling it would recoup the cost of shipping it over. So, actually an affordable trip. We're shooting for 2012.
Unfortunately I didn't take daily notes so I can't remember everything I want to, it's very late and I'm exhausted. We are in Cedar Falls, Iowa. Tomorrow we'll be in Minnesota. I'm as caught up as I'm going to be for now.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Monday
Kickstands up at 7:30am! We headed to Mansfield, Missouri to see Laura Ingalls Wilder's home. This side trip was for Sue and myself. Laura was a remarkable woman, one I would have loved to met in person. I felt very much like I did when we visited Helen Keller's home, (another woman I really admire) very impressed. Both of these women changed history! I realize not in the same way, but regardless, they were strong women who didn't let circumstances discourage them.
We arrived in Chillacothe, MO late afternoon. Another long day! We had beautiful weather!!! Again, we walked to dinner. Tomorrow we will be in Des Moines, Iowa where we'll stay for 5 days for the Gold Wing Rally.
When you are traveling and stop at a gas station, or restaurant you politely say hello to someone you pass. Or maybe while you are pumping gas you may chat with the person at the pump next to you. But, when you are on a motorcycle (and even more so pulling a trailer) people feel compelled to talk to you. They want to know where you are from, where are you going. They want to know what you do when it rains, or when it's cold or very hot. They want to know what it's like to travel on a bike. It seems riding a motorcycle is the greatest conversation starter! And you know me... I HAVE to chat and answer all the questions asked. I would have never dreamed a motorcycle was such a magnet. I feel a speech for Toastmasters coming on!
We arrived in Chillacothe, MO late afternoon. Another long day! We had beautiful weather!!! Again, we walked to dinner. Tomorrow we will be in Des Moines, Iowa where we'll stay for 5 days for the Gold Wing Rally.
When you are traveling and stop at a gas station, or restaurant you politely say hello to someone you pass. Or maybe while you are pumping gas you may chat with the person at the pump next to you. But, when you are on a motorcycle (and even more so pulling a trailer) people feel compelled to talk to you. They want to know where you are from, where are you going. They want to know what you do when it rains, or when it's cold or very hot. They want to know what it's like to travel on a bike. It seems riding a motorcycle is the greatest conversation starter! And you know me... I HAVE to chat and answer all the questions asked. I would have never dreamed a motorcycle was such a magnet. I feel a speech for Toastmasters coming on!
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