Since June 2009… As Paul Harvey says… Here’s the rest of the story!
I’ve written before about what a difference a day can make. Well, what a difference a year can make also. June of 2009 I did a Toastmasters’ speech on the heartbreak my daughter was suffering because of infertility. While she felt led to write a daily devotional book geared towards infertile women, her heartbreak was immense. I myself could barely give the speech without sobbing knowing how my daughter suffered so and knowing there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
In February of 2010 we learned my mom’s cancer had returned with a vengeance. As my sister, Laurie and I left the hospital after another surgery, we knew our mom would not see the end of 2010. It was so sad, I shared with Laurie that I just wished God would let mom live long enough to KNOW that Meghan was pregnant! She’d been praying for Meghan for four years and I wanted her to know that God had answered our prayers the way we wanted Him to! I left St Petersburg, Florida and after stopping home for one night to say hi to Ray, flew to St Louis to take Meghan to the Dr’s for an infertility procedure, since Charles would be out of town and she couldn’t drive herself. Little did I know that Meghan and Charles had been scheming to get Ray and I up there, (Ray didn’t cooperate) to tell us that FINALLY they were pregnant! (It’s all on video)
My mom not only got to know Meghan was pregnant; she got to see Meghan while she was pregnant. I was hoping that she would hold on until the little one arrived, but she went to glory in August of 2010 and our Little Miss Madelyn Grace arrived October 23, 2010! I know my mom was dancing with the angels at 8:55am that wonderful day!
October 2009 God Laid Lost Stork Foundation on Meghan and Charles’ hearts. Meghan and I felt that a cook book would be a great way to start. We hoped for 150 recipes and got 263! We took this as confirmation that that’s what God wanted. We came across an incredible webmaster who created an amazing webpage for us at a very reasonable price. We were thrilled with how things seemed to be falling into place. Mostly, we were looking forward to awarding grants to couples this spring.
But…. The cookbooks aren’t selling like we expected we still don’t have an official grant application, (that requires a lawyer) and Meghan has had to turn away nearly 10 couples in the past 2 weeks for lack of funds.
SO, how do you KNOW it’s God’s will? I’m 100% positive it IS God’s will for Lost Stork to be. I am positive He’s using Meghan’s sorrow to bring unspeakable joy to other couples by being a part of the “fix” of infertility.
Touched? How can you help? PRAY!!! We’ve watched miracle after miracle happen, but we want more miracles. Buy a cookbook! Get the word out, this year we plan on having at least one big fund-raiser. If you’ve ever done fund-raising you know what an over whelming task it can be! We’re thinking of a Bowl-a-thon so the whole family can participate and weather won’t be a consideration. Want to help? You can leave a comment for me, or you can go to http://loststorkfoundation.org/ and leave a comment there.
The main goal of Lost Stork is to help infertile couples realize their dream of having their own little miracle!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
You've Got Something To Say - Toastmasters Speech June 2009
I was looking back at my first 10 speeches for Toastmasters when I came across this one. Tomorrow I will add an update with the connection to Lost Stork Foundation.
I was listening to one of my CD’s by Matthew West and while I’ve heard this particular song many times, one day it took on a new meaning. The chorus says this:
You’ve got something to say
If you’re living, if you’re breathing
You’ve got something to say
You know if you’re heart is beating
You’ve got something to say
And no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through
You got it, you got it
You’ve got something to say
Matthew West is right, each of us have experiences worth telling, a testimony. I love hearing testimonies; they are stories about endurance, strength, faith, miracles…. testimonies are stories of victory and they give us hope. Sometimes what you have endured will comfort someone, it may give strength, renew someone’s faith, sometimes, what you say can save a life.
I’ve always loved children and wanted several. Meghan is very much my daughter and also loves children. When she was 19 months old her first baby brother was born. Never did I have a problem with jealousy; Meghan thought Ryan was her own personal live doll! She would pitch a fit if I was sitting holding him and she wasn’t. She went around nursing her baby doll just like mommy did. When her second baby brother came along Meghan was 3 ½, she was excited to have another baby to play with. Meghan loved babies.
When Meghan was 9 years old she hired out as a mommy’s helper. She would play with the babies or toddlers while mommy worked around the house. By the time she was 13, Meghan was an in demand babysitter. Rarely did a weekend go by that she was not babysitting someone’s children. Our church even made an exception to their rule and at 13 let Meghan watch the baby nursery with me on Sunday mornings. She didn’t limit herself to the quiet babies, Meghan changed diapers, soothed fussy babies and fed them just like the adults. In High School, she was in the Teacher’s Cadet Program where she “had class” 5 days a week in a Kindergarten class as an assistant. The children fell in love with her immediately and she could reach the most difficult child. When her friends started having babies, Meghan is the one they would call for advice, anyone who knows Meghan knows she has a knack with children of all ages.
After graduating High School Meghan worked at a daycare center while going to college to get her Sociology degree with the goal of having her own adoption agency one day. Meghan became a nanny and is now caring for twin 6 month old boys. My daughter hasn’t had any luck in getting pregnant and is going to an infertility specialist. It just doesn't seem right that someone so in love with children would not be blessed with children of her own.
Meghan doesn’t like baby showers. It breaks her heart to buy someone else a gift for what she wants so desperately. When another of her friends excitedly calls with the wonderful news that they are pregnant, Meghan rejoices with them, then later, mourns for herself. Don’t dare tell her to relax!!! “How can I just relax”, she asks me, “when I walk by adorable baby clothes or other baby items but can’t buy any for myself?” “How am I supposed to relax when octo-mom has another 8 babies she can’t afford and I can’t even have one?”
Here’s where the testimony part comes into play. You see, while Meghan may not have a baby of her own right now what she does have is an incredible opportunity to minister to thousands and thousands of women! Meghan leads an infertility support group in St Louis, she’s writing a daily devotional book geared toward infertile women and Meghan blogs. Now I only learned what blogging was last year when she explained it to me. Just in case someone here doesn’t know; blogging is, well, a public diary, for the whole world to read!
And I do mean the whole world since Meghan not only has followers all over the United States, but in 41 additional countries including Australia and Iceland. Meghan blogs about what infertility means, how it affects her everyday life, the frustrations of hearing one more person tell her to just adopt or quit worrying about it. She shared what it was like to give herself shots in the stomach everyday for two weeks and about the raging hormones she endured from “booster shots” from the Doctor to help ovulation; then Meghan shares her heartbreak when yet, another attempt at getting pregnant is unsuccessful.
Meghan’s got something to say. Meghan’s Blog is a place where other infertile women network to find information about new advances, procedures, medications and options for infertility, including adoption. More importantly, Meghan’s Blog has become Meghan’s testimony. She offers her perspective and gives encouragement to other infertile women. By sharing her testimony, she is assuring these women that they are not alone in this journey. The testimony from her heart proves to these women that she fully understands the heartache they are suffering. What Meghan has endured has given her the strength to comfort others and then in turn gives others the strength to go one more round of procedures or tests. Meghan’s powerful faith can renew someone else’s faith.
God is love and love is speaking through Meghan.
I was listening to one of my CD’s by Matthew West and while I’ve heard this particular song many times, one day it took on a new meaning. The chorus says this:
You’ve got something to say
If you’re living, if you’re breathing
You’ve got something to say
You know if you’re heart is beating
You’ve got something to say
And no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through
You got it, you got it
You’ve got something to say
Matthew West is right, each of us have experiences worth telling, a testimony. I love hearing testimonies; they are stories about endurance, strength, faith, miracles…. testimonies are stories of victory and they give us hope. Sometimes what you have endured will comfort someone, it may give strength, renew someone’s faith, sometimes, what you say can save a life.
I’ve always loved children and wanted several. Meghan is very much my daughter and also loves children. When she was 19 months old her first baby brother was born. Never did I have a problem with jealousy; Meghan thought Ryan was her own personal live doll! She would pitch a fit if I was sitting holding him and she wasn’t. She went around nursing her baby doll just like mommy did. When her second baby brother came along Meghan was 3 ½, she was excited to have another baby to play with. Meghan loved babies.
When Meghan was 9 years old she hired out as a mommy’s helper. She would play with the babies or toddlers while mommy worked around the house. By the time she was 13, Meghan was an in demand babysitter. Rarely did a weekend go by that she was not babysitting someone’s children. Our church even made an exception to their rule and at 13 let Meghan watch the baby nursery with me on Sunday mornings. She didn’t limit herself to the quiet babies, Meghan changed diapers, soothed fussy babies and fed them just like the adults. In High School, she was in the Teacher’s Cadet Program where she “had class” 5 days a week in a Kindergarten class as an assistant. The children fell in love with her immediately and she could reach the most difficult child. When her friends started having babies, Meghan is the one they would call for advice, anyone who knows Meghan knows she has a knack with children of all ages.
After graduating High School Meghan worked at a daycare center while going to college to get her Sociology degree with the goal of having her own adoption agency one day. Meghan became a nanny and is now caring for twin 6 month old boys. My daughter hasn’t had any luck in getting pregnant and is going to an infertility specialist. It just doesn't seem right that someone so in love with children would not be blessed with children of her own.
Meghan doesn’t like baby showers. It breaks her heart to buy someone else a gift for what she wants so desperately. When another of her friends excitedly calls with the wonderful news that they are pregnant, Meghan rejoices with them, then later, mourns for herself. Don’t dare tell her to relax!!! “How can I just relax”, she asks me, “when I walk by adorable baby clothes or other baby items but can’t buy any for myself?” “How am I supposed to relax when octo-mom has another 8 babies she can’t afford and I can’t even have one?”
Here’s where the testimony part comes into play. You see, while Meghan may not have a baby of her own right now what she does have is an incredible opportunity to minister to thousands and thousands of women! Meghan leads an infertility support group in St Louis, she’s writing a daily devotional book geared toward infertile women and Meghan blogs. Now I only learned what blogging was last year when she explained it to me. Just in case someone here doesn’t know; blogging is, well, a public diary, for the whole world to read!
And I do mean the whole world since Meghan not only has followers all over the United States, but in 41 additional countries including Australia and Iceland. Meghan blogs about what infertility means, how it affects her everyday life, the frustrations of hearing one more person tell her to just adopt or quit worrying about it. She shared what it was like to give herself shots in the stomach everyday for two weeks and about the raging hormones she endured from “booster shots” from the Doctor to help ovulation; then Meghan shares her heartbreak when yet, another attempt at getting pregnant is unsuccessful.
Meghan’s got something to say. Meghan’s Blog is a place where other infertile women network to find information about new advances, procedures, medications and options for infertility, including adoption. More importantly, Meghan’s Blog has become Meghan’s testimony. She offers her perspective and gives encouragement to other infertile women. By sharing her testimony, she is assuring these women that they are not alone in this journey. The testimony from her heart proves to these women that she fully understands the heartache they are suffering. What Meghan has endured has given her the strength to comfort others and then in turn gives others the strength to go one more round of procedures or tests. Meghan’s powerful faith can renew someone else’s faith.
God is love and love is speaking through Meghan.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
NOW I KNOW
Wisdom is always equated with age…. Have you ever wondered why? It’s because as we go through life all the things we didn’t know before, we now know!
I was 17 and my boyfriend wanted me to meet his parents. We were meeting them at church on Easter Sunday then having lunch at their house. They lived in the nicer section of downtown and attended the First Presbyterian Church… the First of anything church, Methodist; Baptist… it doesn’t matter, that’s where the hoity toities go… They were good Presbyterians so sat near the back. Since I’m A.D.D. the back is never a good place for me… too much to look at. It just so happened that the woman two rows up from me directly in my line of vision of the preacher was wearing a hubcap on her head…. Well, that’s what it looked like to me. It was sleek and shiny gray. I’d been going to church all my life, so I knew it wasn’t polite to laugh while there was preaching going on, but the harder I tried NOT to, I did. My boyfriend’s mom shot daggers at me with her looks.. I finally excused myself and went outside, my boyfriend right at my heels. When he asked me what was wrong, I tried to explain about the woman with a hubcap on her head but my hysterical laughter made it difficult. He just blankly stared at me, saying he didn’t see anyone with a hubcap hat. His parents never did like me…
Now I know, the more you shouldn’t laugh at something; the harder it is NOT to.
One day I told my 3 year old son Ryan to get dressed because we were going to run errands with daddy. I was trying to get his little brother ready when Ryan came to me in a panic and crying. “Mommy, I can’t find my green baboon shirt.” What shirt I asked? “My green baboon shirt mommy, I have to have it to run errands”. I tried to give him another shirt to wear, but he was determined that it HAD to be the green baboon shirt. I had no idea what he was talking about; he didn’t have any shirts with a baboon or any kind of monkey on it. Still crying he went in our bedroom and came back with his daddy’s running shirt and shorts, which were green. That shed some light on what he might be talking about. Sure enough when I got his green tank top out of the dryer he was happy. When we got to the car he wanted to know why we were getting in the car to RUN. Finally, I understood why he thought he needed the Baboon shirt to RUN errands. I never did figure out why it was a baboon shirt.
Now I know… 3 years old have their own language.
As I mentioned earlier, I have Attention Deficit Disorder. My husband Ray does his best to play on that weakness at any given opportunity. He constantly tries to make me think I’ve forgotten to tell him things, or misplaced items. One day we were in the mountains on the motorcycle with some friends. We stopped at a biker joint to wait out a thunderstorm. While Ray dried the bike off and cleaned it up, I suited up. I was ready to go, but couldn’t find my helmet. I asked Ray where it was, he just stared at me. I asked him again, what did you do with my helmet? He patted his head and said, you can’t find your helmet? NO, What did you do with it? He called out to our friends, Lynn can’t find her helmet, I’m getting more irritated by the minute, everyone was ready to go including me, except for my helmet. I couldn’t believe he got Greg and Mickey involved in his little game. One last time I snapped, where is my helmet??? Once again Ray patted his head and said you still can’t find your helmet? Oh oh…. I gingerly reached my hand up and yep… right on my head was my helmet. Never mind I found it.
Now I know… Ray isn’t ALWAYS the one who hides my stuff sometimes I really lose it on my own.
Wisdom does come with a cost!
I was 17 and my boyfriend wanted me to meet his parents. We were meeting them at church on Easter Sunday then having lunch at their house. They lived in the nicer section of downtown and attended the First Presbyterian Church… the First of anything church, Methodist; Baptist… it doesn’t matter, that’s where the hoity toities go… They were good Presbyterians so sat near the back. Since I’m A.D.D. the back is never a good place for me… too much to look at. It just so happened that the woman two rows up from me directly in my line of vision of the preacher was wearing a hubcap on her head…. Well, that’s what it looked like to me. It was sleek and shiny gray. I’d been going to church all my life, so I knew it wasn’t polite to laugh while there was preaching going on, but the harder I tried NOT to, I did. My boyfriend’s mom shot daggers at me with her looks.. I finally excused myself and went outside, my boyfriend right at my heels. When he asked me what was wrong, I tried to explain about the woman with a hubcap on her head but my hysterical laughter made it difficult. He just blankly stared at me, saying he didn’t see anyone with a hubcap hat. His parents never did like me…
Now I know, the more you shouldn’t laugh at something; the harder it is NOT to.
One day I told my 3 year old son Ryan to get dressed because we were going to run errands with daddy. I was trying to get his little brother ready when Ryan came to me in a panic and crying. “Mommy, I can’t find my green baboon shirt.” What shirt I asked? “My green baboon shirt mommy, I have to have it to run errands”. I tried to give him another shirt to wear, but he was determined that it HAD to be the green baboon shirt. I had no idea what he was talking about; he didn’t have any shirts with a baboon or any kind of monkey on it. Still crying he went in our bedroom and came back with his daddy’s running shirt and shorts, which were green. That shed some light on what he might be talking about. Sure enough when I got his green tank top out of the dryer he was happy. When we got to the car he wanted to know why we were getting in the car to RUN. Finally, I understood why he thought he needed the Baboon shirt to RUN errands. I never did figure out why it was a baboon shirt.
Now I know… 3 years old have their own language.
As I mentioned earlier, I have Attention Deficit Disorder. My husband Ray does his best to play on that weakness at any given opportunity. He constantly tries to make me think I’ve forgotten to tell him things, or misplaced items. One day we were in the mountains on the motorcycle with some friends. We stopped at a biker joint to wait out a thunderstorm. While Ray dried the bike off and cleaned it up, I suited up. I was ready to go, but couldn’t find my helmet. I asked Ray where it was, he just stared at me. I asked him again, what did you do with my helmet? He patted his head and said, you can’t find your helmet? NO, What did you do with it? He called out to our friends, Lynn can’t find her helmet, I’m getting more irritated by the minute, everyone was ready to go including me, except for my helmet. I couldn’t believe he got Greg and Mickey involved in his little game. One last time I snapped, where is my helmet??? Once again Ray patted his head and said you still can’t find your helmet? Oh oh…. I gingerly reached my hand up and yep… right on my head was my helmet. Never mind I found it.
Now I know… Ray isn’t ALWAYS the one who hides my stuff sometimes I really lose it on my own.
Wisdom does come with a cost!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Speech: Broken for Purpose
This speech got me 2nd place at my first Toastmasters competetion:
Broken for Purpose
Divorce, unemployment, death, drug and alcohol dependency, abuse, betrayal, bad decisions, natural disasters… every day lives are broken.
I bet every single person in this room has had their life broken at least once. Did you feel like damaged goods? Did you want to kow WHY?
Fellow Toastmasters and Guests, I assert that the brokenness in our lives not only serves to give us strength to face new challenges with courage and optimism, But it also gives us credibility when comforting and encouraging others.
I’ve always considered myself a happy person. I used to wonder why people wouldn’t just “snap” out of it when they were depressed. My faith in God was solid as a rock, it baffled me that anyone could doubt the creator of the universe. THEN… my life was broken, now I know you are curious as to how, but this isn’t the time or place, I will spare you the details, besides the details are irrelevant since each of us has our own distinct broken stories. What is relevant is that I became fully aware of what deep depression was and that you can't just "snap" out of it I also understood how someone could doubt God and even question one’s faith. I was convinced that God didn’t care what I was going through and it was apparent to me that He didn’t love me. I was very angry with Him and told Him so… more than once!
It was during the turbulent time in my life that I happened to attend an inspirational conference, while listening to one of the speakers give his moving testimony a vivid image came to my mind. There was an old plain white water pitcher, you could tell it had been well used, it had several cracks in it and there was even a chip in it's rounded belly that left a tiny hole; the pitcher was sitting on an old table in front of a window. The window had sheer curtains pushed to either side and you could see the sun shining outside. The sunlight came in through the window filling the pitcher; what grabbed my attention, was that you could see the light through the cracks and light even spilled out of the tiny hole onto the floor. The message was instantly clear to me. It’s those cracks and chips in our lives that allow God’s love to be seen through us that would otherwise be hidden. The cracks and chip or the brokenness offer proof that God's light has indeed filled our "pitchers".
Shortly after that conference I came across this painting.
While it didn’t have a pitcher in it, the essence of the painting made me think of what I saw! What I really wanted though, was a painting of what I did see, with a pitcher. Six years later I came across an artist, Brad McLean, who said he could paint the image I described to him. At one point while working on the painting Brad confessed to me that he was worried he wouldn’t capture what I wanted, I assured him I had complete peace in my heart that God was showing him exactly what to paint.
A few months later he presented me with this painting.
I was immediately amazed at its splendor, but it was not what I saw. I would stare at the painting, completely mesmerized by the vibrant color and it's beauty. I knew this was the painting God intended for me, but it wasn’t until my good friend Lia saw it that I understood why. You see, when I saw the image in my mind I was in the throws of depression and doubt, seeing the light through the “broken parts of the pitcher” was hope and encouragement shining through in an otherwise gloomy emotional landscape. This new painting, Lia explained, represented me now, healed, and full of life! and the brokenness had become part of the beauty.
These pictures hang on either side of my bed. They serve as a constant reminder of how God encouraged me in a very dark time in my life and how richly He has blessed me since. It is also a reminder to allow the brokenness in my life to minister to others. When we are broken, it’s not because we are being punished, When we’re broken, it’s not because God doesn’t love us or care about us. The Brokenness in our lives serves a purpose.
Broken for Purpose
Divorce, unemployment, death, drug and alcohol dependency, abuse, betrayal, bad decisions, natural disasters… every day lives are broken.
I bet every single person in this room has had their life broken at least once. Did you feel like damaged goods? Did you want to kow WHY?
Fellow Toastmasters and Guests, I assert that the brokenness in our lives not only serves to give us strength to face new challenges with courage and optimism, But it also gives us credibility when comforting and encouraging others.
I’ve always considered myself a happy person. I used to wonder why people wouldn’t just “snap” out of it when they were depressed. My faith in God was solid as a rock, it baffled me that anyone could doubt the creator of the universe. THEN… my life was broken, now I know you are curious as to how, but this isn’t the time or place, I will spare you the details, besides the details are irrelevant since each of us has our own distinct broken stories. What is relevant is that I became fully aware of what deep depression was and that you can't just "snap" out of it I also understood how someone could doubt God and even question one’s faith. I was convinced that God didn’t care what I was going through and it was apparent to me that He didn’t love me. I was very angry with Him and told Him so… more than once!
It was during the turbulent time in my life that I happened to attend an inspirational conference, while listening to one of the speakers give his moving testimony a vivid image came to my mind. There was an old plain white water pitcher, you could tell it had been well used, it had several cracks in it and there was even a chip in it's rounded belly that left a tiny hole; the pitcher was sitting on an old table in front of a window. The window had sheer curtains pushed to either side and you could see the sun shining outside. The sunlight came in through the window filling the pitcher; what grabbed my attention, was that you could see the light through the cracks and light even spilled out of the tiny hole onto the floor. The message was instantly clear to me. It’s those cracks and chips in our lives that allow God’s love to be seen through us that would otherwise be hidden. The cracks and chip or the brokenness offer proof that God's light has indeed filled our "pitchers".
Shortly after that conference I came across this painting.
While it didn’t have a pitcher in it, the essence of the painting made me think of what I saw! What I really wanted though, was a painting of what I did see, with a pitcher. Six years later I came across an artist, Brad McLean, who said he could paint the image I described to him. At one point while working on the painting Brad confessed to me that he was worried he wouldn’t capture what I wanted, I assured him I had complete peace in my heart that God was showing him exactly what to paint.
A few months later he presented me with this painting.
I was immediately amazed at its splendor, but it was not what I saw. I would stare at the painting, completely mesmerized by the vibrant color and it's beauty. I knew this was the painting God intended for me, but it wasn’t until my good friend Lia saw it that I understood why. You see, when I saw the image in my mind I was in the throws of depression and doubt, seeing the light through the “broken parts of the pitcher” was hope and encouragement shining through in an otherwise gloomy emotional landscape. This new painting, Lia explained, represented me now, healed, and full of life! and the brokenness had become part of the beauty.
These pictures hang on either side of my bed. They serve as a constant reminder of how God encouraged me in a very dark time in my life and how richly He has blessed me since. It is also a reminder to allow the brokenness in my life to minister to others. When we are broken, it’s not because we are being punished, When we’re broken, it’s not because God doesn’t love us or care about us. The Brokenness in our lives serves a purpose.
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